I’ve heard 12 brand-new albums today and I can confirm: the first two months of 2011 are ripe with amazing new records. But, you know …. you’re probably wondering where I’ve been. At the risk of not really making sense, let me try to explain in general what’s going on.
What are you talking about dude?
If you follow me on Twitter, you know I update there regularly. Why? Because it’s quick and easy to post a Twitter update. But there have been endless days where I looked at long-form blog updating and was like, “Fuck this.” I followed my routine of pouring myself something caffeinated, turning on some music, sitting down at my keyboard and … waiting … and just … feeling totally empty. Words simply wouldn’t come. Everything was confusing to me. It was like I had a frog in my throat that stretched all the way to my hands. I became frightened of writing, you might say. I just stared at a blank box as time swirled by, realizing I simply didn’t know what to say.
So where exactly have you been?
I’ve been right here waiting for the feeling to come back. Every few months since I started Loudersoft, I’ve ended up taking time off for one reason or another. Sometimes I did it because other paying projects took focus. Sometimes it was because I had other life-issues taking precedence, hospitals and surgery-type things. This time around, it’s been because I felt like I’d run out of things to say about music, about the people who make music, and I realized I had no desire to get competitive with any other site over content. I simply know, and have always known, what is or isn’t good in certain genres of music. People who know me understand and respect this about me as much as I do. I’m not trying to get in bed with johnny-come-latelys, short con hustlers, social climbing nut-huggers or conglomerates in order to share those ideas with people, and if I sound somewhat arrogant about it, fine.
Like a lot of you have gone through with your own projects or blogs, I’ve invested considerable personal income, time designing and curating the content Loudersoft. Though things were different at one point, I don’t earn any appreciable living from writing. This means that either I over-value my work or other people under-value it. I don’t really care which one is true.
I don’t understand: what happened to make you get all bent?
Several (though obviously not all) of the bands and artists to whom I have long devoted my interest, my blog space and efforts to began to place unrealistic and unfair expectations of me based on past positive feedback of their work. They got pushy with me, and I was offended. Several people whom I became involved with through this music blog and treated like friends decided they’d just use me for my ideas and fuck me over (this probably doesn’t apply to you, so please don’t write to me asking if you’ve done something to offend me — if you have, you already know it). Some PR people didn’t read their job descriptions well, didn’t understand why I had no interest in writing an excessive blowjob piece about their mediocre band/artist and then badmouthed me. Other times, I wrote about things I had no interest or desire to write about because I didn’t want to hurt the feelings of someone close to me. I’ve compromised every belief I held when I started, enjoyed numerous excesses and experienced loss of reputation and personal suffering for doing so.
I would imagine there is also a downside.
So why did you ever even want to do it?
Look, anything worth doing requires putting a lot on the line. Loss is inevitable, so we might as well get lost in service of important things.
What people reading this will either understand or not: there are a lot of music blogs now. When I started writing for a music blog just over five years ago, things were still relatively new. This was the wild west. We didn’t have rules, ethics, or a concept of limits. There was no “blogging industry” — we were just posting what we thought was good so that people would have access to art. Back then, I took a lot of crazy risks, some of which paid off and some of which did not. I invested my mental energies into bleeding-edge technologies, partnering with a number of the sites and entities that today are standards.
Today, it seems that I’ve gone from being a trustworthy voice in new music discovery to just another dude who writes a music blog. I’m okay with that if you are, but if you’re not then tell me — what is it you want from me or anyone like me?
So what you’re saying is that ‘times are hard’ and you’re feeling the pinch right? Aww, puddin’….
Please don’t misunderstand: I’m not mad at anyone that has turned their blog into successful business and make a living. On the contrary, I’m thrilled for them. Did I feel left out? Well, sure, at first I did. But my life doesn’t revolve around only publishing a music blog. I am much more than someone who writes about the artistic endeavors of other people or the work that they do. I’m a classically-trained actor and musician in my own right, things which I suppressed for far too long while I’ve tried to be a voice for so many others.
At your disposal are dozens of social media tools that can help you to promote and market yourself or the artists you represent if, first, the music is any good. There are blog companies with seed money or capital that will keep them afloat for a decade yet to come. Even record labels have become their own media empires and blogs. There’s so many easily-accessible tools right now to enable you towards music discovery. If you choose to make this one of them, I thank you.
