I get a lot of submissions from bands who want their music reviewed, and I listen to everything. But sometimes, I get something and I really have to do a double take. I really didn’t know what to expect when I got my hands on this CD from Los Angeles pink rock band Black Fag. I looked at the cover and thought, “Am I reading this right?” I wasn’t sure whether or not I should be offended, but then I got inside and discovered the concept.

How about an all-gay Black Flag cover band?

Okay. Okay, now that I’ve figured out what this is, I…have to listen to this. As it turns out, it’s really good! Equal parts humor, protest music and cover band, Black Fag gives a meaning to punk rock not heard since Pansy Division. In the band’s own words, it sounds like “Fred Schneider fronting Black Flag”. I’m at a loss for words, so how about if I just share the band’s story courtesy of their MySpace page?

The story of Black Fag begins in the small town of New Hope, PA. Singer Liberace Morris was raised in neighboring Doylestown, but found a home among New Hopes thriving gay community. He worked at a vintage clothing/toy store while pursuing musical theatre at the Bucks County Playhouse at night. One night after Pippin rehearsal, Liberace came home to find his boyfriend in bed with another man. While drowning his sorrows at the local watering hole, The Raven, Liberace started singing and playing Black Flags Nervous Breakdown on the piano. The rest of the bar simply ate it upuntil the end of the song, when Liberace stood up and started haphazardly hurling martini glasses around the place. He was permanently ejected from The Raven and convinced that his life was officially over.

While lying on the sidewalk debating what type of pills would make for the most dramatic accessory to his final exit, a shadow loomed over him. It was bassist Cher Dykeowski, a biker dyke like no other, who was in town for the annual motorcycle rally. She, too, was a Black Flag fan, and had seen something special in Liberaces performance. Having not had a steady home since her parents kicked her out after she attended her senior prom with her Phys. Ed. teacher, Cher was a wanderer with plans to make her way to California. She offered Liberace the bitch seat on her Harley and, with nothing left for either of them in Pennsylvania, they set off on an epic cross-country journey, which included Cher winning a blue ribbon at the Annual Gay Rodeo in Scottsdale, AZ along the way. (And believe you me, the rest of that trip makes Priscilla, Queen of the Desert look like Andy Warhols Sleep, but thats a tale to be told on another day)

In the meantime, Greg Streisand had been dishonorably discharged from the U.S. Navy for violating their Dont Ask, Dont Tell policy. He told by deliberately misinterpreting the term military dress and showing up to his superior officers court martial hearing in a stunning Arnold Scaasi gown. He was left struggling to make ends meet while working at a flower shop in West Hollywood, CA. One day, a bronzed young stud, Robo Simmons, came into the shop and there were instant sparks between the two. It turned out that Robo was the entertainment director on a Royal Caribbean cruise ship docked in Long Beach over the weekend, so Greg and Robo instantly bonded over their love of the sea and entered into a whirlwind romance. Gregs more open-minded Navy buddies had turned him onto Black Flag, and anything that turned Greg on turned Robo on, too. Robos job took him away from Greg for weeks at a time, but when the two were togetherand not in bedthey would make crme brulee in the nude and sing songs like Gimme Gimme Gimme and Wasted to each other.

Liberace and Cher finally made it to California and ended up crashing in West Hollywood with some friends of Chers who ran a whole foods collective. Liberace began to pursue his dream of becoming a singer by dabbling in the local cabaret circuit. In between show tunes and old standards, he would slip a Black Flag cover into his set, always dedicating it to Cher, who faithfully attended all of his shows. The Flag songs were never popular with the crowds, but one night Greg and Robo caught the show and complimented him on it afterwards. Flattered, Liberace bought them drinks and introduced them to Cher. After last call, they all stumbled back to Greg and Robos apartment and jokingly started playing Black Flag covers on the pawn shop instruments Greg and Robo had been collecting. One by one, they all passed out for the night, but the next morning, over Gregs famous homemade crepes, they decided they would start a band dedicated to their mutually favorite music.

Chew on these two tracks from them, and feel free to laugh and throw shit at the same time. I’m putting Black Fag in the “this I gotta see live to believe” department.

Listen To “TV Party” by Black Fag
Listen To “Depression” by Black Fag

Black Fag’s self-titled album is available for purchase thru Interpunk by clicking here. You can visit them on MySpace by clicking here.

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